OK - So... I wasn't planning on posting about this. I'm not an MJ fan, never really was; but I AM a child of the 80's and it's just struck me. Seems like this is the first 80's pop star that I can recall dying - and that's what's got my mind going tonight. As the movie says "Death comes to us all" - it's one of the few universals in this amazingly diverse trip - we all end up in the same places. I knew this day would come (when someone famous during my youth would die) but didn't expect it to be someone so young. Like some childish part of me just figured he'd always be around doing crazy stuff. Never occured to me that he'd die, and definitely not so young. Who will they paparazzi chase now? Brittney? Lindsay? At any rate - at least now the poor tortured soul is at rest. Hopefully he's found a peace in the next life that eluded him in this one. RIP MJ.
So there's my crazy schpeil. I promise - no more off topic pop world posts.
Showing posts with label Odd Ramblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Odd Ramblings. Show all posts
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
First day of summer vacation
All the kids are on vacation and life has 'slowed down' for the summer. We're at that in between point where the garden is in and we're just waiting for stuff to harvest. Spending our time cleaning up the property, perfecting the chicken coop, cleaning the pantry, etc. We're keeping quite busy. I just love the 'feel' of summer vacation, the slowness of it all. No rush, no hurry up, just 'whatever'. We can lay around and read or play in the pool or tinker on a project to our hearts content. I'd nearly forgotten what those days felt like. It's so nice to get back to them.
The little ones are playing in the pool, my 14 YO is burning some brush we trimmed last weekend and my 15 YO is spending the morning with his girlfriend. DH will be home around 3:30 and then we will swing into work mode for the afternoon. But right now I'm just enjoying a lazy summer day.
That relaxed feeling is something we have worked hard to develop. We don't listen to the radio or watch tv most of the time. My teens have their MP3's if they get desperate but I'm trying to develop a taste for peace and quiet in my home. There's no TV blaring the latest grumblings of doom - we know what's going on out there but we have decided not to let it into our home anymore. The change is palpable - and peaceful.
For the first time I can recall I stepped out onto my porch this morning and felt safe and secluded, somewhat sheltered from the craziness going on everywhere around me. I'm not hiding from the world, I just chose to deal with it on my terms, which means keeping it off of our property. We will gladly face any trials set before us but we will not seek them out. Our home is finally the haven it is meant to be, a place of rest and rejuvenation. We are truly blessed!
The little ones are playing in the pool, my 14 YO is burning some brush we trimmed last weekend and my 15 YO is spending the morning with his girlfriend. DH will be home around 3:30 and then we will swing into work mode for the afternoon. But right now I'm just enjoying a lazy summer day.
That relaxed feeling is something we have worked hard to develop. We don't listen to the radio or watch tv most of the time. My teens have their MP3's if they get desperate but I'm trying to develop a taste for peace and quiet in my home. There's no TV blaring the latest grumblings of doom - we know what's going on out there but we have decided not to let it into our home anymore. The change is palpable - and peaceful.
For the first time I can recall I stepped out onto my porch this morning and felt safe and secluded, somewhat sheltered from the craziness going on everywhere around me. I'm not hiding from the world, I just chose to deal with it on my terms, which means keeping it off of our property. We will gladly face any trials set before us but we will not seek them out. Our home is finally the haven it is meant to be, a place of rest and rejuvenation. We are truly blessed!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
New priorities
DH broke my new laptop last night. It's probably going to cost a couple hundred to fix. I'm so bummed, but oddly enough I'm not angry, nor is it a huge priority to fix it. I have my slow old desktop for now.
The things that used to be important to me just aren't anymore. My first thought after realizing what had happened was. "Well we need to spend that money on XYZ because XYZ is so much more important to our long term survival." Those of you who know me well also know what a radical change of view that is for me. I love my computer. I love my internet. 3 months ago I would have been totally lost without them. Today it's just a minor inconvenience. Less time for blogging, chatting, gaming... yes; and that's the UPSIDE for me. The weather seems to be letting up and I have lots to do. Now I have a good excuse to get away from the screen.
Maybe this is just a natural step in the process of recovering from depression or maybe I'm changing in alot of ways. I just have too many important things to do.
As far as I know, no one's reading this anyway - it's more of a way for me to clear my mind and organize my thoughts and plans. If someone does read it and it helps them then that's great - but I'm not really doing it for others at this point.
So I'm still going to be here, and I'm going to try to do it every day because it's a great outlet for me. But this screen just isn't what it used to be. With everything else going on in the world I have other concerns. Concerns I'd like to share with those I love but that I need to address for my own family first.
The things that used to be important to me just aren't anymore. My first thought after realizing what had happened was. "Well we need to spend that money on XYZ because XYZ is so much more important to our long term survival." Those of you who know me well also know what a radical change of view that is for me. I love my computer. I love my internet. 3 months ago I would have been totally lost without them. Today it's just a minor inconvenience. Less time for blogging, chatting, gaming... yes; and that's the UPSIDE for me. The weather seems to be letting up and I have lots to do. Now I have a good excuse to get away from the screen.
Maybe this is just a natural step in the process of recovering from depression or maybe I'm changing in alot of ways. I just have too many important things to do.
As far as I know, no one's reading this anyway - it's more of a way for me to clear my mind and organize my thoughts and plans. If someone does read it and it helps them then that's great - but I'm not really doing it for others at this point.
So I'm still going to be here, and I'm going to try to do it every day because it's a great outlet for me. But this screen just isn't what it used to be. With everything else going on in the world I have other concerns. Concerns I'd like to share with those I love but that I need to address for my own family first.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Monday morning musings
Now that I've gotten all of the big boys off to work and school I'm sitting here thinking of the small steps we've already taken that we now take for granted. Just our morning routine reminds me that:
we are baking our own bread
raising our own laying hens for breakfast eggs
both older boys can cook their own breakfast
'baby girl' can make packaged oatmeal or a bowl of cereal. At the age of 5 1/2 she can operate the microwave just enough to be able to heat the oatmeal.
dh works a half day today so he will eat when he gets home - no fast food
'baby girl' spent the morning drawing pictures of the family; she also surprised me by putting a fresh diaper on her little brother... correctly! It's not loose or crooked or anything, and he sat there and let her do it! How funny! Now she's begging, not for a video game or tv but to PLEASE go outside. I love that.
None of these are huge, earth shatteringly impressive things, but put together they indicate a shift in our thinking. We look at every action with the question "Why?"
Some people question how much my 5 year old can do. Is it safe? Well, when she operates the microwave we are right with her. She has a plastic lettuce knife that she uses when we make salad but she's learning how to carry sharp knives as well. I'm not overly protective of my children. I expect them to learn by doing and I accept the occasional injury as part of the process. None have had to have stitches, only one has had a cast and that was sports related. Yes, that's partially luck but it's also a reflection of the fact that they've been raised to respect blades not fear them; fire is a tool not a toy, same with guns. Kids are naturally curious so we try to mitigate the everyday dangers with KNOWLEDGE.
We don't even think of stopping at a fast food restaurant for breakfast every day, occasionally yes, but not every day. The big boys have been on a bit of a doughnut binge lately but the store-bought ones are pricey. My middle son asked me if we could make chocolate frosted doughnuts at home... I'm sure we can, just not sure I WANT to. How many teenagers do you know who would even think of home made alternatives to convenience foods?
Both of my teens take turns cooking dinner at least once a week. My eldest son (15) can cook as well as I could as a newlywed. The younger one (14) has learned some basic dishes like pasta, sloppy joes, etc. They've both been able to make simple things like ramen and mac & cheese since they were 9 and 10. The eldest packs two water bottles for school every day during the warmer months. Sodas and energy drinks are treats for him, not part of his morning routine. He takes iced tea, water, kool aid, lemonade... whatevers around. Yes I hope someday he will just be thrilled with water, but I'm not holding my breath as I haven't made it that far myself yet!
I appreciate my families flexibility and open mindedness. They've tried lots of new things over the past few years. Most have been successful, some (just a handful) have not. DH doesn't mind trading soda for iced tea but draws the line at home-made sweet tea. I'm going to try again this spring with my grandmothers sun tea recipe which is sweeter and not as strong (astringent) as traditional sweet tea. Green salads are popular, chunks of celery are not. In the 'what they don't see won't kill them' category: I'm becoming an expert at finely chopping veggies that might offend the sensebilities of most children. I can work a whole lot of celery and carrots into a cheeseburger soup or a meatloaf!
It's not easy being different. The extended family thinks we're crazy. Our kids friends think we're weird. In the end I don't base my choices on those things. I need to put my head on the pillow each night knowing that I've prepared my children to live in the world - whatever may come and that I've given them the best choices, the best example I possibly can.
we are baking our own bread
raising our own laying hens for breakfast eggs
both older boys can cook their own breakfast
'baby girl' can make packaged oatmeal or a bowl of cereal. At the age of 5 1/2 she can operate the microwave just enough to be able to heat the oatmeal.
dh works a half day today so he will eat when he gets home - no fast food
'baby girl' spent the morning drawing pictures of the family; she also surprised me by putting a fresh diaper on her little brother... correctly! It's not loose or crooked or anything, and he sat there and let her do it! How funny! Now she's begging, not for a video game or tv but to PLEASE go outside. I love that.
None of these are huge, earth shatteringly impressive things, but put together they indicate a shift in our thinking. We look at every action with the question "Why?"
Some people question how much my 5 year old can do. Is it safe? Well, when she operates the microwave we are right with her. She has a plastic lettuce knife that she uses when we make salad but she's learning how to carry sharp knives as well. I'm not overly protective of my children. I expect them to learn by doing and I accept the occasional injury as part of the process. None have had to have stitches, only one has had a cast and that was sports related. Yes, that's partially luck but it's also a reflection of the fact that they've been raised to respect blades not fear them; fire is a tool not a toy, same with guns. Kids are naturally curious so we try to mitigate the everyday dangers with KNOWLEDGE.
We don't even think of stopping at a fast food restaurant for breakfast every day, occasionally yes, but not every day. The big boys have been on a bit of a doughnut binge lately but the store-bought ones are pricey. My middle son asked me if we could make chocolate frosted doughnuts at home... I'm sure we can, just not sure I WANT to. How many teenagers do you know who would even think of home made alternatives to convenience foods?
Both of my teens take turns cooking dinner at least once a week. My eldest son (15) can cook as well as I could as a newlywed. The younger one (14) has learned some basic dishes like pasta, sloppy joes, etc. They've both been able to make simple things like ramen and mac & cheese since they were 9 and 10. The eldest packs two water bottles for school every day during the warmer months. Sodas and energy drinks are treats for him, not part of his morning routine. He takes iced tea, water, kool aid, lemonade... whatevers around. Yes I hope someday he will just be thrilled with water, but I'm not holding my breath as I haven't made it that far myself yet!
I appreciate my families flexibility and open mindedness. They've tried lots of new things over the past few years. Most have been successful, some (just a handful) have not. DH doesn't mind trading soda for iced tea but draws the line at home-made sweet tea. I'm going to try again this spring with my grandmothers sun tea recipe which is sweeter and not as strong (astringent) as traditional sweet tea. Green salads are popular, chunks of celery are not. In the 'what they don't see won't kill them' category: I'm becoming an expert at finely chopping veggies that might offend the sensebilities of most children. I can work a whole lot of celery and carrots into a cheeseburger soup or a meatloaf!
It's not easy being different. The extended family thinks we're crazy. Our kids friends think we're weird. In the end I don't base my choices on those things. I need to put my head on the pillow each night knowing that I've prepared my children to live in the world - whatever may come and that I've given them the best choices, the best example I possibly can.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Rolling with the punches
I woke this morning to a fresh snow and a toddler with a 102 fever. We don't generally skip church but DH is off at guards and I can't take a sick child into a group of other kids and pass around the germs now can I? So here I sit wondering what to do with my extra two hours this morning. I'm trying to pull all my thoughts together into one cohesive post but my mind is wandering amongst several topics - dealing with bumps in the road, being prepared for the bumps, literal bumps (frost heaves due to mud season), and the fact that I still need to bake bread and get chores done today (among others). So how does this all come together? I'm not completely sure but if I come up with an answer I'll be sure to update.
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