Monday morning musings

Now that I've gotten all of the big boys off to work and school I'm sitting here thinking of the small steps we've already taken that we now take for granted. Just our morning routine reminds me that:
we are baking our own bread
raising our own laying hens for breakfast eggs
both older boys can cook their own breakfast
'baby girl' can make packaged oatmeal or a bowl of cereal. At the age of 5 1/2 she can operate the microwave just enough to be able to heat the oatmeal.
dh works a half day today so he will eat when he gets home - no fast food
'baby girl' spent the morning drawing pictures of the family; she also surprised me by putting a fresh diaper on her little brother... correctly! It's not loose or crooked or anything, and he sat there and let her do it! How funny! Now she's begging, not for a video game or tv but to PLEASE go outside. I love that.

None of these are huge, earth shatteringly impressive things, but put together they indicate a shift in our thinking. We look at every action with the question "Why?"

Some people question how much my 5 year old can do. Is it safe? Well, when she operates the microwave we are right with her. She has a plastic lettuce knife that she uses when we make salad but she's learning how to carry sharp knives as well. I'm not overly protective of my children. I expect them to learn by doing and I accept the occasional injury as part of the process. None have had to have stitches, only one has had a cast and that was sports related. Yes, that's partially luck but it's also a reflection of the fact that they've been raised to respect blades not fear them; fire is a tool not a toy, same with guns. Kids are naturally curious so we try to mitigate the everyday dangers with KNOWLEDGE.

We don't even think of stopping at a fast food restaurant for breakfast every day, occasionally yes, but not every day. The big boys have been on a bit of a doughnut binge lately but the store-bought ones are pricey. My middle son asked me if we could make chocolate frosted doughnuts at home... I'm sure we can, just not sure I WANT to. How many teenagers do you know who would even think of home made alternatives to convenience foods?

Both of my teens take turns cooking dinner at least once a week. My eldest son (15) can cook as well as I could as a newlywed. The younger one (14) has learned some basic dishes like pasta, sloppy joes, etc. They've both been able to make simple things like ramen and mac & cheese since they were 9 and 10. The eldest packs two water bottles for school every day during the warmer months. Sodas and energy drinks are treats for him, not part of his morning routine. He takes iced tea, water, kool aid, lemonade... whatevers around. Yes I hope someday he will just be thrilled with water, but I'm not holding my breath as I haven't made it that far myself yet!

I appreciate my families flexibility and open mindedness. They've tried lots of new things over the past few years. Most have been successful, some (just a handful) have not. DH doesn't mind trading soda for iced tea but draws the line at home-made sweet tea. I'm going to try again this spring with my grandmothers sun tea recipe which is sweeter and not as strong (astringent) as traditional sweet tea. Green salads are popular, chunks of celery are not. In the 'what they don't see won't kill them' category: I'm becoming an expert at finely chopping veggies that might offend the sensebilities of most children. I can work a whole lot of celery and carrots into a cheeseburger soup or a meatloaf!

It's not easy being different. The extended family thinks we're crazy. Our kids friends think we're weird. In the end I don't base my choices on those things. I need to put my head on the pillow each night knowing that I've prepared my children to live in the world - whatever may come and that I've given them the best choices, the best example I possibly can.

Turning down the lamps

One by one they've all gone to bed. Even the dog is snoring at my feet. The only sound in the house is a rhythmic thump thump from the dryer (not quite clothesline weather yet). The thought that comes to mind is of a family winding down and slowly dimming the lights for the evening. My hearing is oddly attuned to minute sounds at this hour. Perhaps it's the mother in me but I hear the hum of the lightbulb, the gurgle of the fish tank, the furnace in the basement is audible to me at this hour, even my own keystrokes as I write here. One thing I truly enjoy about our semi-frequent power outages is the total lack of noise. I relish those moments because they remind me that there is still so much more 'clutter' that I can remove from my life. In a few weeks the sound of the dryer will be replaced by the wind rustling outside my window, the furnace will fall silent for the summer and even the lightbulbs won't be as much of a nuisance as the sun will stay with us til nearly bedtime for a few fleeting months.
Tonight my thoughts turn to plans for the coming months: Flowers and bushes to plant, seeds to start, chicks to raise, even the possibility of finally getting our pig enclosure built after so many years of talking and planning. I've been reading up on canning today and I envision shelves of freshly canned home made goods. For some reason my mind kicks into high gear around 10PM when my body is done for the day.
As I turn down the last 'lamp' (i.e. this computer) tonite I look back on the day, the weekend and the week. I reflect on the successes (not failures). I thank God that my family has come through yet another week intact, healthy, safe; and I pray that He will show us the same graciousness in the coming week.

STEP 1: Getting right with God

I know most peoples idea of being prepared is about what you have supplied and learned over the years, but the first thing that comes to mind for me is God. I'm not here to debate religon. I'm just saying that in a crisis many people turn to faith. When you think you are in a life threatening situation your first concern shouldn't need to be "Have I made my peace with God". Take a few minutes now and follow your heart. The Bible says that the only way to God is through Jesus. Do you believe in Him? Do you know that he died for you? Do you accept the free gift that he's already given to you? Or will you leave it unopened? I'm not a great evangelist, nor is that the direction I'm headed in with this blog. I can recommend some though if you're interested in learning more.

"God be with you till we meet again"

Rolling with the punches

I woke this morning to a fresh snow and a toddler with a 102 fever. We don't generally skip church but DH is off at guards and I can't take a sick child into a group of other kids and pass around the germs now can I? So here I sit wondering what to do with my extra two hours this morning. I'm trying to pull all my thoughts together into one cohesive post but my mind is wandering amongst several topics - dealing with bumps in the road, being prepared for the bumps, literal bumps (frost heaves due to mud season), and the fact that I still need to bake bread and get chores done today (among others). So how does this all come together? I'm not completely sure but if I come up with an answer I'll be sure to update.

Picking up the pieces

Yes - it's been a year (more than that). I've had to work through a major depression and it was devastating. I was like a zombie for several months then realized I HAD to do something and no one else could do it for me. We've stayed on track but haven't progressed as much as I had hoped we would.
I would be discouraged were it not for the knowledge that getting treatment for my depression has (and will continue to have) a lasting and profound effect on my life. I wasn't able to even get up from my desk, couldn't pull together a coherent thought, couldn't complete a project or even deal with the daily in's and out's of being a mother of 4. Now I'm beginning to be active again, I'm reading constantly, setting goals, working on projects... basically I'm living again.

cleaning out

THE CHALLENGE - I decided to do a pantry challenge/ freezer challenge just after Christmas and we're finally getting to the end of it. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept a "challenge" is where you go on a shopping 'fast' in order to clear out old supplies. The downstairs freezer was unplugged around New Years and the upstairs freezer is getting pretty empty too - maybe one more week. The cabinets are starting to look manageably sparse as well. I have been buying groceries each week, but I'm spending about 1/2 to 1/3 what I normally do and only replacing perishables that are completely consumed and a few ingredients for specific dishes.

A CHANGE OF TASTE - One of the interesting side effects of this clean out is realizing that we are no longer interested in many of the snack and convenience foods we generally keep around. It's nice to have a little here and there but we're just not 'into' it anymore. As the snack foods disappear from the cabinets I'm just NOT replacing them. I've been buying more fresh fruit and making more homemade desserts. Another bonus - this is also freeing up some mental space when it comes to planning meals, allowing me to be a bit more creative with what I make since I'm not staring at the same choices every night. I actually need to think more.

FINDING A NEW WAY - I find myself buying more and more local and organic goods. I find it interesting to observe that people will say they can't afford organic food but will fill their carts with Doritos, Oreos, etc and not even consider the irony. I find myself observing peoples purchases in the grocery store and wondering about their health and lifestyles. Generally 'poor' or 'low income' families like mine will purchase what one would expect: lots of cheap prepared foods, chemical cleaners and disposable paper goods. I wonder if I will someday be able to help them find a new way like I am.

HOLDOUTS - We are BIG soda drinkers. We don't drink coffee but my husband takes 2 16 oz bottles of soda every day for work and will drink at least 2 12 oz glasses at night as well, and he only drinks regular soda not diet! I had given up soda but like a cigarette addict I got sucked back in. I decided to 'treat' myself the week of Christmas and now I'm drinking tons and tons of it. I only drink diet but I still would like to kick it again. I went out and got a faucet mounted water filter. My children are also big milk drinkers so I've been trying to improve our dairy choices. We can't generally afford organic milk so I compromise and buy local r-BST free milk.
I do occasionally splurge and buy 'the good stuff' (as they call it). They may be young but they know the benefits of organics! I made a smooth change from regular white sugar to "raw" sugar by telling everyone it was just 'unbleached' sugar. With 4 kids I don't think I can eliminate sugar altogether.

My mantra right now is "one more week, one more week" not because I want to restock but because I can't wait to see what else I've been able to get rid of in another week!

Keeping pace

Yes - I've been gone for a week. The weather around here has been... restrictive to say the least. I was worried that I would give up altogether if I missed even one day. I ended up missing almost ALL of last week. But yesterday was decent so I got up and went for my walk. I felt miserable and achy. Oddly enough the thought of missing my walk was more painful than the thought of getting up and going. I still don't feel like I've created a habit of it yet. Perhaps in a few more weeks.
I haven't lost any weight yet (as far as I can tell), but the children broke my bathroom scales so it's hard to tell.